I Assure You, We're Open.

Possibly the greatest purchase of my life

unclewhisky:

jamestspirk:

callunavulgar:

So I wandered into Forbidden Planet today after work and came across this: image

and this might be the single greatest thing I own

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That last one is horribly accurate.

(via the-noble-almost-human-porpoise)

crisontumblr:

I can’t be the only one who thought of this, right?

(via ollivander)

susu6:

i’ll kick anyone’s ass. i’ll kick your ass. i’ll kick your dog’s ass. i’ll kick my own ass

susu6:

i’ll kick anyone’s ass. i’ll kick your ass. i’ll kick your dog’s ass. i’ll kick my own ass

(via mirelurks)

susu6:

i’ll kick anyone’s ass. i’ll kick your ass. i’ll kick your dog’s ass. i’ll kick my own ass

susu6:

i’ll kick anyone’s ass. i’ll kick your ass. i’ll kick your dog’s ass. i’ll kick my own ass

(via mirelurks)

comedycentral:

Watch tonight’s new @midnight to find out which of these #SpookyCartoons was the spookiest.

(via sirgothamhat)

johnpolidori:

Accidentally writing “pervy shelley” instead of percy shelley

image

(Source: ornithomantist, via gothzomboy)

bryantrod:

brook:

halcy:

uh oh [x]

it’s time

THEEEEEEEY CALL ME CUBAN PETE

IM THE KING OF THE ROMPA BEAT

WHEN I PLAY THE MARACAS I GO

CHIC CHICKY BOOM CHIC CHICKY BOOM

(via letsmakeloaf)

thebeautyofmoonlight:

spookynyan:

consultingpsychopaths:

that’s the spirit

OH MY FUCKING GOD DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU JUST FUCKING SAID? DO YOU REALIZE HOW AMAZING THAT PUN WAS? THATS THE SPIRIT???!?!?! THAT IS THE FUCKING SPIRIT YOU DICKSUCKING FUCKBUCKET THAT IS THE FUCKING SPIRIT. THAT IS ALCOHOL. NAY, NOT SIMPLY ALCOHOL. IT IS A SPIRIT. YOU ARE LITERALLY LOOKING AT THE BOTTLE OF BOOZE HE IS DRINKING, AND YOU ARE POINTING OUT THATS THE SPIRIT WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY APPLAUDING HIM FOR DRINKING DURING GRADUATION BY SAYING THATS THE SPIRIT. YOU MY GOOD SIR HAVE SUCCEEDED TODAY. YOU HAVE SUCCEEDED IN MAKING ME PHYSICALLY BOW TOWARDS YOUR GREATNESS.THATS THE SPIRIT.THAT IS THE FUCKING SPIRIT. 

That is the best reaction to a pun I have ever seen

thebeautyofmoonlight:

spookynyan:

consultingpsychopaths:

that’s the spirit

OH MY FUCKING GOD DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU JUST FUCKING SAID? DO YOU REALIZE HOW AMAZING THAT PUN WAS? THATS THE SPIRIT???!?!?! THAT IS THE FUCKING SPIRIT YOU DICKSUCKING FUCKBUCKET THAT IS THE FUCKING SPIRIT. THAT IS ALCOHOL. NAY, NOT SIMPLY ALCOHOL. IT IS A SPIRIT. YOU ARE LITERALLY LOOKING AT THE BOTTLE OF BOOZE HE IS DRINKING, AND YOU ARE POINTING OUT THATS THE SPIRIT WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY APPLAUDING HIM FOR DRINKING DURING GRADUATION BY SAYING THATS THE SPIRIT. YOU MY GOOD SIR HAVE SUCCEEDED TODAY. YOU HAVE SUCCEEDED IN MAKING ME PHYSICALLY BOW TOWARDS YOUR GREATNESS.

THATS THE SPIRIT.

THAT IS THE FUCKING SPIRIT. 

That is the best reaction to a pun I have ever seen

(Source: niggablanco, via castleoflions)

camo-zamboni:

camo-zamboni:

camo-zamboni:

My roommate and his girlfriend got in the shower together and they’re… Talking about politics?

I was expecting to hear “OH GOD, HARDER,” not “George Washington was entirely correct in his prediction of what distinct parties would do to politics as a whole.”

Nope nevermind, there it is, apparently political debate is just their form of foreplay

STOP REBLOGGING THIS HE HAS A TUMBLR

(Source: camo--zamboni, via castleoflions)

ammit420:

horror movie synopsis

  • white family moves into house
  • the house got some shit in it
  • family refuses to acknowledge that they got some shit in they house
  • turns out that shit is some ultrashit

(via ruinedchildhood)

beyondstraight:

racethewind10:

tsukishimake1:

my favorite tidbit about rome is that in the mid-1800s one of the popes didnt like the statues in rome having dicks so he ordered them knocked off. fast forward to the last decade or so and art historians in conjunction with the vatican are trying to erm. restore. the statues. but the dicks were just. kept in a box. so art historians are going around rome, with a box of dicks, trying to match them up to their owner.

image

This made my day

(via the-noble-almost-human-porpoise)